Your Wellness
​Ongoing Support for Families

During these unprecedented and uncertain times, it is important to make sure your children feel safe and protected. In my role as Elmwood Franklin School's Mental Health Counselor, I am here to support all faculty, staff, students, and families to manage feelings and anxiety about COVID-19. During this time, I am here to offer you and your children ongoing support. Working together with your children will allow the opportunity to help them find constructive ways to manage their anxiety, especially if these worries are adversely impacting their schoolwork, relationships, and daily routines. In addition, I am happy to assist you as parents and guardians about how to communicate information regarding COVID-19 to your children and allay anxiety you may have regarding the virus and its impacts. 
 
Should you need support, please feel free to contact me. I am available for teletherapy sessions via Zoom (30- or 60-minute sessions) scheduled by appointment for you and/or your children, email correspondence (gpelosi@elmwoodfranklin.org), and phone consultations/sessions (716-508-7804). The EFS staff and community are working incredibly hard to ensure the safety of our students and all members of our community. I look forward to the continued opportunity to support your family during this time. As always, your children remain my top priority. 
 
Sincerely,

Gabriella Pelosi
Elmwood Franklin School Mental Health Counselor (LMHC)

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How to Talk with Your Children About Coronavirus

When you're talking to your children, begin asking them what they have heard about the virus to gauge their understanding and assess their worries or concerns. 

From there, try these three steps:

1. Share Age-Appropriate Information
If your children are younger, keep it simple: "You know what it's like to have a cold or the flu? How sometimes you get a cough or have a fever? Coronavirus is kind of like that. Most people who catch this sickness stay home, rest, and get all better. And we have wonderful doctors and nurses who can help people when they need it." 

If your children are older, feel free to provide more of an explanation: "Although the Coronavirus can make anyone sick, the immediate risk of becoming seriously ill from the virus is thought to be low. Older adults like grandma and grandpa, as well as anyone with health conditions such as diabetes or heart disease, have to be extra careful because their ability to fight off illness is compromised from an already weakened immune system. There are simple things you can do to keep yourself healthy, and being aware of symptoms can help stop the spread of the virus."​

2. Reassure Your Children They Are Safe
Letting your child know they are safe is the most important message to send. Children are perceptive to your energy and tone. Remain calm while reassuring them.
 
If your children are young, explain: "It's okay to be worried. Right now, lots of amazing grown-ups are working hard to keep people healthy. Luckily, we already know a lot about how to keep healthy. Let's come up with five reasons together that you're safe from getting sick."
 
If your children are older, explain: "It's normal to worry at times of uncertainty. I'm glad you're talking to me about this. Tell me what your largest worry is. To challenge your worry and anxiety, tell me five reasons you're safe right now. I am taking the following steps too to make sure you're safe too. We are in this together, and I'm here to take care of and protect you." 
 
If possible, allow your children to name specific reasons they feel safe, rather than telling them. Ask open-ended questions as often as you can to invite conversation and avoid answers like "I don't know." This allows children to take ownership of their ideas and reestablishes safety. If children can't come up with reasons on their own, here are a few suggestions you can provide them:
 

1. Doctors, nurses, and medical professionals are trained to help take care of anyone who becomes ill.
2. Thorough hand washing keeps the germs at bay.
3. Immune systems are meant to fight illnesses.
4. If applicable: Your family hasn't traveled recently and has avoided infected areas.
5. Professionals are working on a vaccine to help fight the disease.
6. Families are staying inside the house to slow or stop the spread of the virus, and we are too!
7. Children are practicing healthy habits like eating fruits and vegetables, sleep hygiene routines, and exercising or playing outside- activities that boost the immune system.
8. The general public is largely aware of the disease and, therefore, is working hard to combat it.

 
3. Emphasize What Your Family Can Do To Take Care of Germs Effectively
Explain to your children germs travel from person to person. Reiterate the importance of thoroughly wash their hands, catching coughs in their elbows, practicing sleep hygiene, and engaging in activities such as playing outside, exercising, and eating healthy foods. 

Resources
PBS Daniel Tiger Kids Videos For Ages 3-6:
Daniel Gets a Cold / Mom Tiger is Sick (FULL EPISODE)
Rest is Best Strategy Song (VIDEO)
Germs Germs Go Away With Handwashing (VIDEO)
A Germ-Fighting Superhero (VIDEO)
In My Bathroom Game
Play at Home with Daniel Tiger App
Daniel Tiger for Parents App
Doctor Daniel Game

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How To Manage Anxiety at Home

What Should I Say When My Child Is Anxious?

Signs of Anxiety In Children: 

• Excessive worrying over "everyday things"
• Having trouble controlling their worries or feelings of nervousness
• Knowing that they worry much more than they should
• Feeling restless and having trouble relaxing
• Having a hard time concentrating
• Easily startled 
• Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep 
• Feeling easily tired or tired all the time
• Having headaches, muscle aches, stomach aches, or unexplained pains
• Having a hard time swallowing, trembling, or twitching
• Often irritable or feeling "on edge" 
• Sweating a lot, feeling light-headed or out of breath
• Having to go to the bathroom a lot 
• Sudden outburst

Step One: Empathize with what your child is feeling
"I'm so sorry you're feeling worried. It's understandable at a time like this. Let's sit and talk more about it. You can always come to me if you're worried, and I'm really glad you did."
 
Step Two: Relabel the problem as the "worry brain"
"Sometimes when we worry, our brains tell us all sorts of things! What would you like to name your 'worry brain?'" Suggest options like: "Wilma's Worry Brain" or "John's Jitters" or "Sally's Slithering Thoughts" to distinguish between the child's brain and the worry brain. This allows children to detach from their worries and externalize them. 
 
Step Three: Rethink and shrink worry down to size
Ask your child, "Is the worry as big as (point to something big)? What is one thing you can do to shrink the worry down to a smaller size? (point to something smaller and tangible like a container, box, or jar to keep the worry inside of)" Ask your child to close their eyes and imagine placing the worry inside of the smaller object.
 
Step Four: Get the body onboard—turn off the alarms
Your child's amygdala is enacting its fight, flight, or freeze response when anxiety comes into play. Their brains are telling them they are not safe given the current circumstances. To reestablish a sense of safety for your child, it is important to "turn off their alarms." You can help your child do this by instructing them to "Try the 4-7-8 technique with me. Let any extra air out of your mouth, breathe in quietly through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for a count of 7 seconds, exhale forcefully through your mouth like you're blowing bubbles, pursing the lips and making a 'whoosh' sound, for 8 seconds, repeat again 4 times." Explain that deep breathing increases the supply of oxygen to your brain and stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes a state of calmness. Or, you can have your child try grounding techniques such as taking a hot shower, smelling a few essential oils, or squeezing ice cubes in their hands.
 
Step Five: Refocus what you want to do
Once your child has processed their feelings, help them refocus on an actionable step they can take so they don't stay "stuck" in their worries. Explain, "You did a great job talking about your worries. Now, tell me something fun you'd like to do together. How about coloring, going for a walk, or baking cookies together?" Refocusing your child's energy will interrupt repetitive, negative thoughts.
 
Step Six: Reinforce your child's efforts at being courageous
Your child was brave enough to talk to you about their biggest concerns. Make sure to give them praise! When they're done talking, tell them, "I'm so glad we talked about your worries together. You did a great job coming up with a plan to tackle your worries, and I'm so proud of you! You can talk to me about your concerns any time you'd like."

Download
Tips & Tools to Challenge Negative, Anxious Thoughts
This resource introduces thought distortions and strategies to challenge anxious thoughts in an effort to decrease uncomfortable emotions and unhelpful urges and behaviors. These can be used with all ages/grades.

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Breathing Technique Resources

Videos From Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood:
Daniel Learns to Be Calm on the Trolley
Calming Down Strategy Song

From Sesame Street:
Belly Breathing with Elmo

From Esme and Roy
Practice Belly Breathing

YouTube Suggestions:
'What Causes Anxiety and Depression-Inside Out' 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNsTy-j_sQs

Square Breathing Technique for Anxiety
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoQVgJx_QN4
 
4-7-8 Breathing Exercise to Alleviate Anxiety and Stress for Teens and Adults
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmBYdfv5RSk

Movie Suggestion: Disney's Pixar Movie Inside Out

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Suggested Reading for Anxiety, Worries, Uncertainty, and Change

Books for Young Children:
​
'Is a Worry Worrying You' by Ferida Wolff
Virtual reading found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc3ioOeSHbQ
 
'Ruby Finds A Worry' by Tom Percival
Virtual reading found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSTRhh2mn08
 
'Wilma Jean the Worry Machine' by Julia Cook
Virtual reading found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gpAijfP99Ng
Workbook: 'Wilma Jean and the Worry Machine Activity and Idea Book' by Julia Cook
 
'Wemberley Worried' by Kevin Henkes
Poor Wemberley worries about everything, especially when she is about to start school.
 
'David and the Worry Beast' by Anne Marie Guanci
David's anxiety is a beast, and the more anxious he gets, the bigger it grows. David learns to control his thoughts, and his beast shrinks. 
 
'When My Worries Get Too Big' by Kari Dunn Buron
This book uses the 5-point scale to talk about stress and different ways to manage it. There are several pages where kids can add in their own thoughts and worries, and what helps them relax.
 
'What to Do When You Worry Too Much' by Dawn Huebner, Ph.D.
This book goes through several ways that can help kids manage worries, including setting a time to worry or resetting your body with activity or relaxation. 
 
'Stress Can Really Get on Your Nerves' by Trevor Romain
This book has a great knack for writing to kids in a funny and relatable way about serious issues.
 
 
Books for Older Children:

'Coping Skills for Kids Workbook' by Janine Halloran
This workbook is designed for older elementary school-aged kids to read to themselves, or for kids and parents to read together. There are over 75 ways to help kids learn to manage stress, anxiety, and anger, with more than 20 kid-friendly worksheets.
 
'What to Do When You're Scared and Worried' by James J. Crist
The beginning of the book has a checklist that helps kids narrow down what they are anxious about. It also covers the basics of what anxiety is and how to help manage with coping skills. The next section of the book goes into detail about different types of anxiety kids might experience, including Separation Anxiety, Phobias, and Panic Attacks.
 
'Stress 101' by Margaret O. Hyde and Elizabeth H. Forsyth
A great book for explaining what stress is, the difference between good stress and bad stress, and symptoms you may get when you are stressed. It also includes ideas for how to manage stress more effectively.
 
'Anxiety Sucks' by Natasha Daniels
Written by a therapist who has first-hand experience with anxiety, this book has quickly become one of the ones most recommended books for teen clients with anxiety. 
 
'The Anxiety Survival Guide for Teens' by Jennifer Shannon
The guide is based on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques that help teens learn to manage their anger and anxiety. 
 
'A Still Quiet Place for Teens' by Amy Saltzman, MD
A wonderful introduction into mindfulness for teens.
 
Books for Parents:
 
'The Worry Workbook for Kids: Helping Children to Overcome Anxiety and the Fear of Uncertainty' (An Instant Help Book for Parents & Kids) by Muniya S. Khanna Ph.D.
Two respected psychologists offer fun, action-based activities grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy to help your child move past fears of uncertainty and set and accomplish goals.
 
'Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, Revised and Updated Edition: Practical Strategies to Overcome Fear, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life-from Toddlers to Teens' by Tamar Chansky Ph.D.
This book contains easy, fun, and practical tools for teaching children to outsmart their worries and take charge of their fears. This revised and updated edition also explains how to prepare children to withstand the pressure in our competitive test-driven culture. Learn the tips, techniques, and exercises kids need to implement the book's advice right away, including "How to Talk to Your Child" sections and "Do It Today" activities at the end of each chapter.